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submitted by /u/Responsible-Pause-99 to r/nextfuckinglevel [link] [comments] |
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Sunday, April 30, 2023
Insane upper body strength and control
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Skylab: The Space Station That Fell on Australia
Article URL: https://spectrum.ieee.org/skylab
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35765284
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Surgeon General: We Have Become a Lonely Nation. It’s Time to Fix That
Article URL: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/30/opinion/loneliness-epidemic-america.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35765283
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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When Tracer ults, she says "Special Delivery..." Today, she meant it.
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submitted by /u/drewhead118 to r/Overwatch [link] [comments] |
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
[link] [comments]
from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! https://ift.tt/HEJP4Af
Saturday, April 29, 2023
LeBron James strikes again on Twitter: Unlike you little 🤬 I'm a grown ass man...
Unlike you little 🤬 I'm a grown ass man
Big shoes to fill 🤬, grown ass pants
Prolly hustled with your pops, go ask your parents
Its apparent you're staring at a legend
Who, put a few little 🤬 in the they place before
Trying to eat without saying they grace before! 🤫👑
This dude cannot be stopped! This series was personal.
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US Army grounds its aircraft after recent mid-air collisions
Article URL: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-65433660
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35756472
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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It cost $3.50AUD to add bacon to this pizza.
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submitted by /u/jaimeerose to r/mildlyinfuriating [link] [comments] |
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Owner
Looking for a talented lone wolf programmer to help me bring my revolutionary engineering software to market
I am a mechanical engineer with over 50 years of experience in the industry. In 2000, I developed a revolutionary engineering software program that won a copyright case for over $6 million. However, the company that I sold the software to went bankrupt and I was never paid. I have since put the software on ice, but I am now ready to bring it back to life.
I am looking for a talented lone wolf programmer who can help me take my software across platforms. I believe that AI has the potential to revolutionize the engineering industry, and I want to be at the forefront of this change. I am offering a percentage of the profits from the software to the right programmer.
You can complete a coding challenge on a piece of the software for you to see how it works and how we can work together. From that, if everything works for both of us we can form a partnership.
Here are some of the benefits of working on this project:
You will be working with a seasoned engineer with over 50 years of experience in the industry. You will have the opportunity to be a part of a revolutionary project that has the potential to change the engineering industry. You will be able to work on your own schedule and set your own hours. You will be offered a percentage of the profits from the software. You will have the opportunity to use your creativity and ingenuity to solve challenging problems. You will be able to work on a project that has the potential to make a real difference in the world. If you are a talented programmer who is looking for a challenging and rewarding project, then I encourage you to contact me at hlbtech6@gmail.com.
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35755799
Points: 3
# Comments: 1
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Friday, April 28, 2023
Major Milestone for OpenTitan
Article URL: https://lowrisc.org/blog/2023/04/a-major-milestone-for-opentitan/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35746006
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Whats the bleakest horror ending in your opinion?
I saw someone post on this sub asking about horror movies with happy endings - which I am not impartial to. But what about the movies with unhappy, depraved, bleak, twisted endings? Which is your favourite? I love Saint Maud - the religious ecstasy cut to burning embers gets me every time.
EDIT: a lot of you are commenting Ari Aster movies which made me think of the Strange Thing About the Johnsons - DAMN that film messed me up.
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I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown
but the punchline is too long
[link] [comments]
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New to the Web Platform in April
Article URL: https://web.dev/web-platform-04-2023/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35745469
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Thursday, April 27, 2023
My favourite joke of the day !!
A couple is having issues in the bedroom. During a visit with another couple, the issue comes up. The second couple starts bragging about a doctor they went and saw.
Wife 2: The doctor is fantastic! Our love life has never been better.
Wife 1: What did he do?
Wife 2: Well, he did a thorough physical exam and then told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and pick up doughnuts and grapes. We were to get naked and I am supposed to toss the doughnuts on my Husband's penis and if I got it on I had to eat it off. My husband then had to take a grape and try to flick it into my pussy and if he gets it in then he eats it out. Oh my god, it worked.
So the first wife gets the doctor's number and sets up an appointment. Just as the second wife had said, both are given thorough physicals and wait expectantly in the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and sits down looking at their file. He sighs and looks at them.
Doctor: I'm sorry but I can't help you out.
Wife: You have to! You helped our friends. Please doctor we are desperate.
The doctor sits and debates for a few minutes and then sighs again.
Doctor: Ok well then on your way home stop at the grocery store and pick up Cheerios and apples.
[link] [comments]
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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
[link] [comments]
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A Recession May Be Coming. Or Not. Buy Stocks Anyway
Article URL: https://finance.yahoo.com/m/0b51daaf-4a79-32d3-bf2d-8df592ac0a3e/a-recession-may-be-coming-or.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35732545
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Marjorie Taylor Greene says adoptive mom is “not a mother” while berating her in Congress
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submitted by /u/HyacinthFT to r/politics [link] [comments] |
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Wednesday, April 26, 2023
What kind of condoms do frogs use?
Ribbed.
[link] [comments]
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If you hate writing learn touch typing
Article URL: https://medium.com/@hugobeny/if-you-hate-writing-learn-touch-typing-5d39efb0fc36
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35718871
Points: 3
# Comments: 0
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to underestimate alcohol
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submitted by /u/HornyDiggler to r/therewasanattempt [link] [comments] |
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My five year old's joke: What do you call a sausage in a room with a hungry wolf?
A wolf.
[link] [comments]
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ChatGPT + React.js 18 docs (React.dev)
Article URL: https://mindvault.fyi/vault/2daec193-b9c4-4164-8c50-9cb536976c89
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35718114
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Tuesday, April 25, 2023
Big brother stepped up
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submitted by /u/westcoastcdn19 to r/AnimalsBeingBros [link] [comments] |
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I’m trying to get a photographic memory
But its still developing.
[link] [comments]
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Windows Secrets Extraction: A Summary
Article URL: https://www.synacktiv.com/publications/windows-secrets-extraction-a-summary
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35704779
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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From bitlocker-suspended to virtual machine
Article URL: https://sensepost.com/blog/2023/from-bitlocker-suspended-to-virtual-machine/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35704772
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Badging for Home Screen Web Apps
Article URL: https://webkit.org/blog/14112/badging-for-home-screen-web-apps/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35704739
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Monday, April 24, 2023
Apple wins appeal in App Store legal battle with Epic Games
Article URL: https://9to5mac.com/2023/04/24/apple-wins-appeal-in-app-store-legal-battle-with-epic-games/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35692097
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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The Stop CSAM Act Would Put Security and Free Speech at Risk
Article URL: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/stop-csam-act-would-put-security-and-free-speech-risk
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35692065
Points: 2
# Comments: 1
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From an actual porno
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submitted by /u/DaBlazingDagger_ to r/Unexpected [link] [comments] |
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Side swiped with a month left on my lease
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Went to the corner store to get a Gatorade and came out to this [link] [comments] |
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Local License Key Verification
Article URL: https://matradomski.com/posts/local_license_key_verification_theory/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35691459
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Why do boobs keep to themselves?
Because they have the company of their breast friend!!
[link] [comments]
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Sunday, April 23, 2023
Fuck the Wall Street Journal
 |
The title says it all. [link] [comments] |
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cats do commit a lot of crimes
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submitted by /u/Meowface_the_cat to r/tumblr [link] [comments] |
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During sex, my girlfriend yelled Hurt me! Hurt me!
So I said, “it’s a real shame Fluffy got run over by that car”
[link] [comments]
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A father and his son are walking deep in the woods at night with a lantern and a shovel.
The son says, "Dad, it's creepy out here, I'm scared".
The father replies, "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk back alone!"
[link] [comments]
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Wall Street Is Turning Water into Wealth, Leaving Californians Out to Dry
Article URL: https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2023-wall-street-speeds-california-groundwater-depletion/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35679312
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Furious woman berates kids on bikes
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submitted by /u/Chopsuiiisauce to r/PublicFreakout [link] [comments] |
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Saturday, April 22, 2023
I was hitchhiking. A guy picked me up. A few miles down the road we were pulled over by a state trooper.
The trooper was taking his time getting out of his cruiser. My driver was getting upset - glancing nervously in the rear view mirror.
“What the hell is he doing? Fucking pig!”
The trooper has finally emerged from his cruiser and is now checking his look in the driver’s door glass.
“Jesus H Christ, what next?” My driver furiously rolled down his window and yelled back at the trooper “Hey pig! Did you forget your lint roller or some goddamn thing?”
At ‘pig,’ the trooper straightened up, gazed up and down the empty highway and unsnapped the leather safety strap on his pistol. He began to walk up to the driver’s side of our car.
He had his right hand firmly on his weapon. I had my hand on the door handle, ready to jump out and run for my life. The driver was halfway out the window, almost screaming .
“So tell me, pig, just what do you want? Why the hell did you pull me over?”
The trooper crouched down so his face was even with the driver’s. His face showed no emotion. I was jammed up tight to passenger side door, eyes wide, hands up, trying to make it clear I’m Not With This Guy.
The trooper held the driver in a steady gaze. Finally, he spoke:
“What time are we supposed to be at Mom’s house tonight, asshole? I’ve got her birthday cake back at the office.”
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The Four Hobbies, and Apparent Expertise
Article URL: https://brooker.co.za/blog/2023/04/20/hobbies.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35670129
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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In ancient times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding at night.
This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.
[link] [comments]
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Dev snapshot: Godot 4.1 dev 1
Article URL: https://godotengine.org/article/dev-snapshot-godot-4-1-dev-1/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35669558
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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You cannot tell me this is not causing some bugs just by pure oversight
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submitted by /u/Hellinfernel to r/ProgrammerHumor [link] [comments] |
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Friday, April 21, 2023
Belgian authorities destroyed 2,352 cans of American beer advertised as 'The Champagne of Beers' because it is not, in fact, Champagne
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submitted by /u/PM_HORSEDONGS to r/nottheonion [link] [comments] |
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Mastofeed – embedded Mastodon feeds for blogs, etc.
Article URL: https://www.mastofeed.com/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35658994
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister.
They were both outlaws and in-laws.
[link] [comments]
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Building a large scale unsupervised model anomaly detection system
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35658173
Points: 8
# Comments: 1
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how a vegetarian is born
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submitted by /u/PM-ME-FUNFACTS to r/TikTokCringe [link] [comments] |
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Thursday, April 20, 2023
The Russian military commandant who oversaw reign of fear in Ukraine town
Article URL: https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/russian-military-commandant-who-oversaw-reign-fear-ukraine-town-2023-04-20/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35645239
Points: 1
# Comments: 1
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Enough positivity. What's the worst thing about the Steam Deck?
For me it's definitely the fact that you can't do downloads while the screen is locked. I understand it's a PC but coming from the Switch which can download games while I'm at work, the Deck is so frustrating. I have to make sure that it's kept awake for sometimes hours depending on the size of the game.
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My teachers always told me...
My teachers always told me I'd never amount to much because of how much I procrastinated, I told them "just you wait."
[link] [comments]
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Hands on Software Verification Course with Focus on Functional Programming
Article URL: https://mathematicaltalent.com/software-verification-course
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35644415
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Cleopatra’s African Heritage in Netflix Docudrama Sparks Uproar in Egypt
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submitted by /u/AliceTheMagicQueen to r/entertainment [link] [comments] |
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Wednesday, April 19, 2023
Why I, a black bear (21 F) believe I could beat a human in a fight.
First, I am going to set some ground rules.
- Neither I, nor the human have access to advanced weaponry (short pointy sticks, boom sticks, that bad-smelling spray thing, Bearco. patented Human Spray, etc.)
- Specifically a 220lbs, 5'11, well built male human, quite used to tossing around objects weighing much more than 180 lbs, who has also played contact sports his entire life.
- I do not need to kill the human, just take out all of their organs and cause massive bleeding.
- Both the human and I get to listen to human growl music before the fight.
The stats: (All my stats I found from pornhub.com - I trust they are accurate but I apologize if they are not.)
- As mentioned, specifically a 220lbs, 5'11, well built male human, quite used to tossing around objects weighing much more than 180 lbs, who has also played contact sports his entire life.
- I weigh 180 lbs and am 6ft tall
- I have eaten 5 large dogs and "have those dawgs in me" as humans may say.
The fight:
In a boxing match, I win as I am much stronger. They would be unable to run away as I am much faster. Neither of these are viable options. Thus I only see two options in which they emerge the victor.
The first way would be for them to choke me out. They would need to avoid my mouth and paws , but if they were able to get behind me due to my poor eyesight (I know we have good eyesight but I had another guy try to fight me last year and he tried poking my eyes out while we fought and it hasn't really been the same since, absolutely mauled that guy tho lol). I would have to have a very thin neck and not think of retaliating against this at all, even though I can kill him with a single swipe.
The second way would be for them to blind me. In this scenario they would need to be fully prepared to sacrifice an arm, a leg, their testicles, two eyes, a nose, half an ear, their scalp, a kidney, and their lungs, and while I am attacking them, they would use sticks or fingers to try to blind me. I am aware that I have small eyes, however, if they really concentrated while I was having a nice liver breakfast, I believe they might be able to hit their target.
TL/DR: I could beat a human in a fight, but if they could blind me or choke me out, I'm absolutely dead.
EDIT: I have been informed that humans cannot in fact live without their lungs.
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Trying to Find Your Place in the World? Try Birding from a Different Angle
Article URL: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/18/magazine/birdcast-birding.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35632477
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Men of reddit, what surprised you the most when you got your first girlfriend/started to get to know women?
submitted by /u/sarcastic_ducky to r/AskMen
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Read More...
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Me : Shaking a magic 8 ball..
"Will my vision ever get better??"
Coconut :
[link] [comments]
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Munger Hall: A Billionaire's Bizarre Social Experiment
Article URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXd7Y3HvUj4
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35631625
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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There's a highway to hell but a stairway to heaven.
Says a lot about the expected traffic
[link] [comments]
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Tuesday, April 18, 2023
Unveiling of the Multi·on Browser
Article URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X1tIvrf68s
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35618960
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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This monkey get's angry after being paid unequally for the same amount of work
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submitted by /u/not_a_profession to r/interestingasfuck [link] [comments] |
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Summate.it
Article URL: https://summate.it/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35618099
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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China’s defense minister lauds Putin for ‘promoting world peace’
submitted by /u/bloomberg to r/worldnews
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Read More...
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I asked my son what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said, "Batman."
Now my wife and I refuse to take him to the theater.
[link] [comments]
from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! https://ift.tt/JxGLhko
A man calls in sick to work...
His boss asks what sickness he's contracted. The man replies, "anal glaucoma." The boss asks him to explain the illness. The man replies, "Its simple sir, I can't see my ass coming into work today."
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Monday, April 17, 2023
Kodi Forum Data Breach
Article URL: https://kodi.tv/article/important-kodi-forum-data-breach/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35605507
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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![[link]](https://i.redd.it/j53uhmmg5uwa1.jpg){kind=link}
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Nominative Determinism
Article URL: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35604828
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Google CEO Sundar Pichai warns society to brace for impact of A.I. acceleration, says ‘it’s not for a company to decide’
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submitted by /u/bobbyw24 to r/technology [link] [comments] |
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