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Friday, November 30, 2018
The kids are alright
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Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names – With Examples
Article URL: https://shinesolutions.com/2018/01/08/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names-with-examples/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567548
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Draft.js: how to remove formatting of the text
Article URL: https://hackernoon.com/draft-js-how-to-remove-formatting-of-the-text-cd191866d9ad
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567539
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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I commute to work and the guy in front of me put this up. While this was up, he was watching something on this phone and had headphones on. At one moment on phone in the suitcase seemed to turn on, displaying the SAMSUNG Galaxy symbol. Nothing more happened.
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People exactly my height will have had this problem.
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How to pet an otter, taught by an otter
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A male friend is a licensed massage therapist and has been working for the same high-end spa for 14 years. He just found out that company policy does not allow minors to receive massages with male therapists.
Spa is in Maryland. A friend would like to know if this is a discrimination case because his spa does not allow minors to be massaged by male therapists even with parents in the room but it’s ok for female therapists to give massages to minors. He is losing out on an income when parents specifically request him for their athletic children but company policy states male therapist cannot treat minors. He has not spoken with management yet. He just found out because a friend requested him but was told her child had to see a female and the parent told him. Any suggestions on how to approach management would be appreciated.
Edit: policy states that parent must be in the room while minor is being treated by female therapist but they will not even allow a minor to be treated by a male therapist even with the parent present.
Minor update: I advised him of his many options after reading the comments. He went to management (it’s a very large salon/spa) and they told him is was an error/misunderstanding on the receptionists part and that they would call the client/mom and schedule an appointment for her son with him. Mom is a client of the therapist and will be present during massage.
I’m guessing that they know they set themselves up for a lawsuit and covered it up by saying it was an error. The mom was specifically told that boys or girls can only be seen by female therapists with a parent in the room.
Thank you everyone for the comments. If this issue comes up again he will be going over their heads to handle this legally.
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Since Netflix very disappointingly cancelled Daredevil. I think we should thank Charlie Cox for his amazing portrayal of Matthew Murdock / The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. Bravo 👏
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I was at work when my coworkers boyfriend, Ian, came to visit her. Moments later, my boyfriend, also Ian, showed up.
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‘Individual 1’: Trump emerges as a central subject of Mueller probe
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Minnie, Ruler of the Castle
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What real life purchases feel like micro-transactions?
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A parent got justifiably upset because an airline worker made fun of her child‘s name
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I’m Dave Kender, editor in chief of USA TODAY’s Reviewed, the site that helps you buy the right stuff, for the right price. I’ve personally tested hundreds of products, from TVs to toothbrushes to duct tape, which can sometimes take months. AMA!
Hey everyone. I’m Dave Kender, editor in chief of Reviewed, a website that tests and reviews everyday products. Reviewed is part of the USA TODAY Network. I’m based in smarty-pants Cambridge, Massachusetts and have been with Reviewed since it was a tiny start-up over a decade ago.
These days I oversee a team of 40 writers, editors, and lab techs who review thousands of products. Want to know what to buy this holiday season? I’ll help you out.
Twitter: @davekender @reviewed
Proof: https://i.redd.it/mzmah8ouhy021.jpg
EDIT: This has been a fantastic experience. Great questions. I appreciate the insight and the challenges. I'll check back in tomorrow to address any questions I missed. Thank you, Reddit.
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No-one is safe, not even in sports 😭
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How’s my favorite subreddit doing!?
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ULPT: Need a more money added to your cart for free shipping, but don't want any additional items? Add something else to your cart that'll bring your total up, check out, cancel the extra item promptly thereafter, and you'll retain the free shipping
*may only work for Walmart.com
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Game of Thrones: The Seven Deadly Sins and the End of the Show
After rewatching most of the show and many analysis videos I’ve come up with a two-pronged theory, one about how the families of Game of Thrones represent The Seven Deadly Sins and also about the White Walkers and how the show is going to end, but I’ll get to that later.
Part of what makes GoT so entertaining is that there really are no good guys or bad guys in this show. Everybody is oftentimes a flawed selfish asshole in their own way. There are some biblical undertones to the story as well, which isn’t surprising. George R.R. Martin has said he draws a lot of inspiration from Tolkien in fantasy and writing, and Tolkien’s work in LOTR/The Hobbit had many biblical themes and undertones, & A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones is no different. My theory on the TV show stems from this, I believe that each of the major houses in the show represents one of the Seven Deadly Sins, and on a greater scale shows just how corrupt people in this world have become, which plays into the end of the show.
Greed: House Tyrell. The Tyrells are a compelling family, especially because they seem to be the only matriarchal family in Westeros, and the alpha women of this family play the Game of Thrones with great cunning. However, their greatest flaw throughout the show is greed for power, and ultimately it led to their downfall. They showed a complete lack of loyalty to anybody in The War of Five Kings, siding first with Renly Baratheon, later switching sides to secure a partnership with the Lannisters in a military alliance, then through Margaery marrying Joffrey/Tommen before finally siding with Daenerys, partly for revenge but largely because they knew nothing would be gained by staying allied with the Lannisters. They switch sides consistently and manipulate people with ease, and they don’t do it for an ideology, they do it purely for the sake of what they think will put them on the highest spot on the totem pole. Even their banner is embroidered with the color associated with Greed, an all green Sigil surrounding the rose.
Rage: House Baratheon. The Baratheon house motto is the first indication, “Ours is the Fury” that rage is what they represent. Robert Baratheon has the hottest temper of any character in the show, verbally lashing out at those around him or slapping Cersei when she pisses him off. His bastard son Gendry is shown to be hot-headed at times as well. Even their house animal: The Stag, though a majestic animal is known for having a fiery temper when threatened. The background color for the house sigil as well is an orangish/yellow hue, and orange is a color often associated with the deadly sin of rage. Symbolically as well this house encompasses rage in the sense that of all the deadly sins, rage in many ways most encompasses masculinity. Uncoincidentally this house lacks any female members besides the sickly child of Stannis.
Envy: House Targaryen. Envy by definition is “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.” Obviously, the longing that’s aroused through the Targaryens is the Iron Throne, which is owned by the Baratheons/Lannisters who overthrew their father. The envy for the crown displayed by the family is shown first through Viserys, who seems to have dedicated his entire existence to trying to retake the throne even though Westeros is glad to see his families rule come to an end after his father. After Viserys is killed, the envy for the throne continues through Daenerys and the great lengths we see her go through to go retake a throne she doesn’t have a claim to anymore. I can guarantee the envy she has for the throne will carry over into the final season and create some fatal conflict when it’s revealed Jon Snow is really a Targaryen, and the rightful heir to the throne over her if the Targaryens take it. For a symbolic connection, I looked at some historical depictions of the seven deadly sins being represented by animals, and one that commonly came up depicting envy is the snake. The only lizard depicting a deadly sin, and the only lizard on the sigil of any house in Westeros.
Gluttony: The Martells. This one may be the biggest stretch for people to believe but I wholeheartedly believe they’re an embodiment of gluttony from what we’ve seen in the show. Their plotline after Oberyn's arc is often criticized as the worst in the show but their demeanor in many ways encompasses gluttony to me. Gluttony is all about overindulgence of some base instinct like eating, fighting or sex. The first scene we’re shown of the Martell family, it’s Oberyn and Ellaria taking their pick from several prostitutes in Littlefinger’s whorehouse, drinking and getting down with some freaky group sex stuff before Oberyn goes and starts a fight with some Lannister soldiers. overindulgence of sex is commonplace with the Martells, they sleep around with anybody who catches their eye, they overindulge in violence whether it be Oberyn talking about taking part in the fighting pits for fun, the Sand Snake girls indulging in violence for revenge, and of course they love to overindulge in terrible one-liners as well.
Sloth: House Frey. Walder Frey without question is one of the most unlikable S.O.B.s in the series, but the arc of this house shows the underlying deadly sin this house encompasses, through their sheer incompetence and laziness, the premier signs of sloth. From the getgo they’re shown as an all-around uninspired and uninteresting house, relying on their lucky location at the twins for their power. The house as a whole is lazy and it shows in their conduct when doing anything at all on screen. Jaime verbally berates their lazy military conduct in season six episode seven. The obvious laziness of this house is part of the reason why it’s so easy to hate them (besides Walder being an old creepy pervert). Going back to the symbolism aspect, blue is considered the color of the Deadly Sin Sloth and at the base of the Frey Sigil blue water is shown, same as how at the base of their depiction in the show it is their lazy demeanor that makes them so despised, and represent sloth in such a manner.
Pride: House Stark. It’s hard to throw any hate at the Stark family. They are after all the most beloved family in the show and the protagonist family, but if there was any deadly sin they would encompass it’s pride more than anything, primarily through two traits. The first is their incredible stubbornness. It’s widely known they’re a stubborn family, “our way is the old way” Ned’s stubbornness kept him in a dungeon for weeks, Jon’s refuses to bend the knee to Daenerys at first and is called out for his pigheaded nature several times by other characters, their stubbornness is a pinnacle part of their conduct. Along with stubbornness, another trait commonly associated with Pride is disobedience, a trait seen through the Stark children. Whether it’s Robb’s disobedience to promises he made to Walder Frey, Arya’s disobedience after pledging herself to the faceless men, it’s these two staples for me that convince me they’re representative of pride. To add icing on the cake their house sigil is mostly grey, a color commonly associated with pride (but the internet is particularly split between that and purple as the color of pride).
Lust: House Lannister. At first glance this one may seem obvious through Tyrion and his man-whore tendencies, known for his many brothel visits early in the series. Their banner is embroidered in red as well, one of the colors commonly associated with lust (or blue depending on the part of the internet you ask). Looking at the personality traits of the members of the Lannister family, they encapsulate lust in many ways, with their incredibly selfish and inconsiderate behavior towards anybody outside of the family, two traits strongly associated with lust the deadly sin. Of course what lust is most associated with is extreme sexual desire, and this is demonstrated through the twincest relationship between Cersei and Jaime. We know incest is a fairly common thing in the Game of Thrones universe, but same as real life, it comes with bad side effects in the children the more closely related you are. Madness especially is a common side effect in children of incest in the show (The mad king had incest genes) and oh boy is Joffrey one rotten little shit, likely as a result of his parents being near genetic clones of each other. Both Jaime and Cersei know what they’re doing and the dangers that come with it but they encompass lust, and as such their lust controls their arc and almost every bad thing that’s happened to them in the show.
The seven deadly sins are covered but where does this all play into the end of the show? Well, this is where The White Walkers come in. The most powerful families in the world all encompass the deadliest sins imaginable according to many forms of classic literature. Analyzing more Biblical symbolism I think the White Walkers could best be described as the flood in the story of Noah’s ark. If you’re not familiar with it, the story in the Bible book of Genesis goes that God saw that human beings were far too corrupt and beyond saving, so he sent a flood to wipe out everything on earth (except of course for Noah, his family and the animals they brought with them on their big ass boat). Perhaps the White Walkers are building up their army now because they have a mission from higher powers to wipe out mankind.
This is where fellow fans go sour on me and say I’m too cynical, but I believe that the White Walkers aren’t the overarching bad guys, they’re a force sent by the old gods in Westeros who see that people have become too corrupt and they need to start anew. Even GoT Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss describe The Night King, saying that he’s not really a force for good or evil, “He’s just a force of destruction” much like the biblical flood. This show is known more than any other for subverting expectations and what a subversion it would be if the beings we believed to be the bad guys through the show up to this point were actually sent on a mission by the old gods who don’t like what men have become?
TL;DR: The families represent the seven deadly sins in Westeros and the White Walkers represent a destructive force from the gods like the flood in Noah’s Ark because people in this world have become too corrupt.
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Stupid woman bests water department workers
My ex husband and I bought our home from his parents. They had the house built in the 50's.
For years, father in law wanted to install a shutoff valve in the utility room to, you know, shut off the water to the whole house to do some repairs. Plumber told him it would cost a large amount of money because they could not find the shut off from the city water main at the street, the "buffalo box", a/k/a water main shut off valve. Since the buffalo box was MIA, they would have to freeze the pipes to stop the water before installing the shutoff valve. It was an expensive process to freeze the pipes so it never got done.
When we bought the house, we decided to get the shut off valve installed. We called the water department and they sent 2 workers to shut off the water.
When they arrived, I explained the problem. They went out to the front yard, walked around a bit and told me there was nothing they could do for me. According to the 2 workers, it was my problem that they could not find the buffalo box and that I should call a plumber to dig up my front yard, sidewalk, and city easement to find MY buffalo box.
Well, I have a background in residential real estate construction and I was familiar with how water mains and buffalo boxes are installed and I told them it was the city's issue, as they were responsible for the buffalo box, not the homeowners.
According to these guys, as a woman, I did not know what I was talking about and they left. They were incredibly rude about it, but peons like these think they can get away with being rude to an ignorant woman like me.
Fast forward to a year or so later. I get a call from the city manager asking why I hadn't paid my water bill for over a year. I told him that I wanted to pay my water bill, but I wanted them to first turn off my water. He was a bit taken aback that I WANTED them to turn off the water.
So, I explained what the city workers told me about locating the buffalo box and their attitude about women not understanding those type of things. I also told him that if the city could not turn off my water, I would be happy to have free water forever, cuz I would never pay another bill. We had a nice long chat about the situation and he said that he would resolve my concerns.
The next day, these same 2 guys show up at my house with some digging equipment and spend the whole day digging up the easement and the sidewalk. Their attitudes were rather somber, cuz the city manager told me he was going to give them a talking to about how they mishandled the situation. I even got an apology!!!
They found the buffalo box, under the city owned sidewalk!! They fixed the buffalo box so it would be accessible and came the next day to fix the sidewalk. They asked if I wanted the water turned off, declined, and I told them I would have my plumber take care of it when we had him install the interior shutoff valve.
And then I paid the water bill.
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Payless set up a "luxury" store- interesting commentary on our concept of luxury
So these ads are floating around in which Payless sets up this "luxury" shoe store and hosts a grand opening for people in the fashion industry. They sit them down and ask how much they would pay for certain pairs of the shoes there (which are all actual payless shoes). The answers range from $200-$500+. It's great insight into so many aspects of consumerism but mainly about how our perception of a brand influences how much we're willing to pay.
This ad was an eye-opener for me. Lately, I've been wanting to replace a perfectly functional old navy bag with a designer bag. I have no idea why! I don't even follow bloggers anymore because I was sick of feeling like I was being sold to or that I had to keep up with them. I just have this nagging thought that I NEED the bag and that a $1200 one will outshine my $15 one. Same thing with heels. I used to actually turn to payless for work flats because of how comfortable they were but now find myself scoffing at the brand. Really interesting wake up call.
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What's the deal with Bethesda/ Fallout '76 right now?
I saw something about a nylon bag.
But then I saw stuff like this: https://imgur.com/31SSlj6
What's the overall story? Are they getting Reddit EA'd? What else did they do wrong apart from the bag thing?
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"I posted online that my date cheated on me! How can she sue for slander? Can I get a cease and desist? Why is everyone mad at me?"
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Leah Remini: the night before I turned 8, I sat alone in my room playing with my pocketknife considering suicide so I wouldn't have to reach "the age of accountability" and risk my eternal salvation. Please expose this cult.
I posted previously about this here.
Allow me to add some detail. In Mormonism, you are taught that if you sin, you have to repent and never do commit that sin again if you are going to be saved. If you do sin again, you are "unforgiven" of all the previous sins, and you are condemned for the current infraction in addition to every prior instance.
But none of that matters if you die before you are 8, because little children cannot sin and are therefore saved, according to the Book of Mormon.
So that night when I sat on my bed, twirling my pocket knife in my fingers, here are the wieghty thoughts that went through my 7.9 year old mind.
"Would my parents be sad if I committed suicide? Of course they would. I wonder who else would mourn for me. Would God forgive me if committed suicide? But I'm not eight yet, so it's not a sin. But does it matter that I'm so close to 8? What if the sinning kicks in a few days before I'm eight. Oh, how I wish I had died a year ago so I wouldn't have to think about this! I wonder if my knife is even sharp enough to push into my chest. I checked the point of the blade with my fingertip. This seems doubtful. Am I even able to do this? Could I really even kill myself? Would it hurt? Am I able to push the blade through my bones (the sternum)? Where is my heart? Would it go deep enough to kill me? What would my parents think if they found my body dead with a knife in it? Would they be sad and miss me? Of course they would. If I commit suicide they would be very sad. They would probably be sad for the rest of their lives. Would they blame God? Would God blame me? What if I commit suicide and I meet God and he looks at me and says 'sorry, but you know suicide is a sin, and now you can't live with me forever.' What does the 'age of accountability' mean? Does that age start exactly at 8, or can it be sooner or later? What if I already missed my chance? If I get baptized, I know I'm going to fail. What if I sin so much that God won't forgive me for my sins after I'm baptized? I don't want to be unclean. Would it be worse to be unclean after I'm baptized or commit suicide before I'm baptized. Does it matter that I already know that suicide is a sin? Does that mean I'm accountable already?"
In my original post, I said this was the night before I was baptized, but in reality this was a couple of different nights. And I thought this way for hours. Fortunately for me, most eight-year-olds are not mentally capable of suicide. Fortunately for me, I ultimately decided it was worth risking everything for a chance at life.
Some will say that I misunderstood the doctrine. I didn't. But even if I had, the spiritual environment of the church is what drove me to these thoughts in the first place. It is the same environment that leads our gay youth to suicide when they realize that the only thing for them in this life is a lifetime of narrowly escaping the sins that will condemn them to hell forever, if they make it through to the other side without sinning.
But any religion that puts so much shame and fear on a young child that it drives them to analyze the risk of sinning throughout life versus the risk of sinning by committing suicide... is a cult. Any religion that places such sober thoughts in the mind of a 7-year old, is a cult. I was deeply ashamed of this event and never told anyone about it until I left. And perhaps most frightening of all, I never once considered it might have had something to do with how the church teaches little children about worthiness and sin until I left. I thought it was something wrong with me.
Mormonism is a cult in transition. It is slowly becoming mainstream and the worst aspects of the cult are fading. This is true for any cult that survives long enough. But make no mistake, it is still a cult. And even more so for my ancestors.
Edit: Thank you for the gold! And just as much, thank you for all of you who have shared your own stories. It is important that we share these stories because these highlight the harms of Mormonism more than anything else. And more importantly, we need to get them out so we can heal and move on.
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The father of the index fund says it’s probably only a matter of time before they own half of all U.S. stocks; ‘I do not believe that such concentration would serve the national interest’
https://www.wsj.com/articles/bogle-sounds-a-warning-on-index-funds-1543504551?mod=mhp
https://outline.com/DGK9Td (if paywall)
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The kids are alright
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Quote of the Day
"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
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DigiLens raises funding for holographic AR displays from Niantic and
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567537
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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SoftBank sets $21.16 billion for next month’s IPO
Article URL: https://techcrunch.com/2018/11/29/softbank-sets-indicative-share-price-of-1500-yen-for-next-months-ipo/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567530
Points: 1
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How can you tell a chemist from a plumber without seeing them?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
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"I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it," A doctor said as he handed a man his newborn baby.
The man handed the baby back to the doctor. "Then bring me the one my wife did make."
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I cut my mouth on cheese.
My wife must've bought the extra sharp cheddar.
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A tourist visits an Indian reservation...
...where he finds an old chief who claims that he remembers everything that has ever happened in his life.
The tourist is curious and asks the chief "What did you have for breakfast on your 5th birthday?"
Without hesitation the chief replies "eggs".
Impressed, he continues his vacation and returns home.
Ten years later, he returns to the reservation and is surprised to see the same old chief again. He approaches the chief, puts his hand up flat and greets him with "how".
The old chief simply replies "scrambled".
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What do you call a Russian on the moon?
late
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Hey girl, are you my Physics examination paper?
Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing
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I don't always tell dad jokes,
...but when I do, he usually laughs.
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My dad asked me the other day: "Are you even listening to me?"
Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
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A man experiencing severe headaches goes to the doctor
He says."Doc, you've gotta help me. I've been getting these same headaches everyday and I don't know what to do".
The doctor says "I experienced those same headaches too. Here's what I did: I went home and gave my wife oral sex. She would squeeze my head with her legs and this relieved the tension. Try it".
Two weeks go by, and the doctor calls him up, asking how he feels. He says "Doc, you're a genius! I haven't had a headache since I started this treatment. I feel like a new man! Oh, and by the way, you have a lovely home".
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An old man was given a jar and asked to provide a sperm sample for his doctor. The next day he returned with the empty jar and explained,
"Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, then I tried with my left. I asked my wife to help. We even called up Arlene, the lady next door. Nothing." The doctor was shocked. He said, "You asked your neighbour?" "Yep," the old man replied. "None of us could get the jar open."
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Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing what to dress up as for the 80's Action Hero Costume Ball.
"I know", says Stallone, "Lets all go as famous composers. "I'll be Beethoven".
"I'll go as Mozart", says Chuck.
Schwarzenegger gets up and walks swiftly to the door. At the last second, he looks back and says,
"I'll be Bach"
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How can you tell an optimist from a pessimist?
Ask them to pronounce OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE.
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What did Raichu say when it saw Pikachu?
Raichu.
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100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
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What superpower do babysitters have?
Supervision.
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An astronaut collapses into his chair after a long day of work inside the space shuttle. He decides to make a cup of coffee.
Unfortunately, the space shuttle seems to be out of milk and so he goes to his companion to ask if he'd seen any.
Astronaut 1: "Hey, I can't find any milk for my coffee."
Astronaut 2: "In space, no-one can. Here, use cream."
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A man just threw some milk, cream and butter at me.
How dairy!
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The Pope, the Packers & the Vikings
On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the pope-mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man wearing a Green Bay Packer jersey was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.
As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Minnesota Viking jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Packer Backer from the water, Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was bitter hatred between Green Bay Packers & Vikings fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who the heck was that??"
"It was the most knowledgeable Pope," one replied. "He can summon God anytime and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpooner said, "he may be knowledgeable & have access to God's wisdom, but he knows squat about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up okay, or do we need to get another one?"
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! https://ift.tt/2DQN4rS
Movie Theater
I was in a theater last night watching a very sad movie and all the sudden this guy behind me starts whaling and I get hit in the back of the head with a harpoon
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Reddit is a lot like Whose Line Is It Anyway.
The jokes are made up and the points dont matter.
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What To Do With A Sick Chemist
If you can't Helium, and you can't Curium, you might as well Barium.
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50% of Canada
Is the letter A
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If having sex for money makes you a whore...
Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
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It was just a day until Johnny turned 10
His mom said to him, "Now Johnny, tomorrow's your tenth birthday! So I will make you anything you want for breakfast in the morning!"
"Anything?" he asked in excitement.
"Anything."
Johnny sat there for several minutes contemplating what he wanted for his birthday breakfast. He finally sprung up and told her what he wanted for breakfast.
Once he told her, the mother's face grew very red with anger and she shouted, "HOW DARE YOU! GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!"
So Johnny, confused and upset, ran up to his room and cried himself to sleep.
The next morning, Johnny got up and got ready for school. His parents were nowhere in sight, so he didn't have breakfast at home. He decided to stop at a mini mart on the way to school to get something to eat, because you know what they say, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" This caused him to be late for school.
When he walked into class, the teacher asked him why he was late for school. Johnny replied with, "Well last night my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind... and here I am."
The teacher looked very puzzled and asked, "Well what could you have possibly asked for that resulted in all this?" Johnny told her what he asked for. The entire class burst into laughter, and just like with his mother, his teacher grew red in the face and very angry and shouted, "GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE NOW! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT BEHAVIOR IN MY CLASSROOM!"
Johnny, very confused, made his way into the principal's office and plopped down in the seat in front of a big desk. The principal, very perplexed, asked, "Now Johnny, what are you doing here? You're one of the best students in the school!" Johnny said in response... "Well last night my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind and be late for class. When the teacher asked me why I was late, I told her the story and she got really mad... and here I am."
"Well what did you ask for that got you into this mess?"
"I don't think I should say. Every time I say it, I get in trouble."
"Nonsense!" The principal chuckled, "This is a safe space, you can tell me anything."
Johnny reluctantly said what he asked for, and the principal was fuming. "THIS KIND OF CHILDISHNESS IS UNACCEPTABLE! YOU'RE EXPELLED!"
Johnny went home, crying the whole way there. Once he got home, his dad was there. He said "What are you doing home from school so early? It's only 11!" Johnny said in response... "Well last night my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind and be late for class. When the teacher asked me why I was late, I told her the story and she got really mad and sent me to the principal's office. When the principal asked why I was in his office, I told him the story and he expelled me... and here I am."
"Well what did you ask your mother for that got you in so much trouble?"
"I don't think I should say. Every time I say it, I get into more trouble."
The father sternly replied, "I am your father. When I ask you a question, you give me the answer. Understood?"
"Okay..." Johnny says. He proceeds to tell his father what he wanted, to which he became furious and said, "NO SON OF MINE WILL EVER TALK LIKE THAT. AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU ARE NO LONGER MY SON! PACK YOUR BELONGINGS AND GET OUT!"
(section omitted because this joke is getting out of hand)
Many years later, we find Johnny lost on the streets. He sits next to an old homeless man who looked kind. The old man asked, "How did you get here? You look so young and full of potential."
Johnny sighs. "This all started years ago, my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind and be late for class. When the teacher asked me why I was late, I told her the story and she got really mad and sent me to the principal's office. When the principal asked why I was in his office, I told him the story and he expelled me. When I went home and told my dad what happened, he kicked me out of the house... and now here I am, with nothing left in my life."
"Well what on earth did you ask for that caused you to lose everything?
"Oh no no no, I'm not telling anyone that! Every time I answer that question, something bad happens."
"Why not tell me? What else do you have to lose?"
"You're right... what do I have to lose?
"Soooooo what was it?"
Johnny sighs again and says, "A cherry pie."
The old man just laughs. Johnny looks very confused. He looks up and says, "Well if you want a cherry pie so bad, go get one from that stand across the street! Here, have a little bit of my cash, if you promise you'll share with me."
"You're right, I should get that pie!"
So Johnny gets up, crosses the street, and gets hit by a bus.
What's the moral of this story, you ask?
...
Look both ways before you cross the street.
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Best joke that I tell...got it from this sub over a year ago
A young American tourist just arrived in the Irish Countryside for vacation.
He steps into the nearest pub for a pint, and sits down near this old haggard man.
The old man looks over at the Tourist and says:
"Young man, do you see this Pub? I built this Pub. I raised these walls, I built these tables, I laid the stone floor...I built this Pub, and it's a beautiful Pub...but do they call me Blarney the Pub Builder? No...they don't."
The tourist looked around and agreed. It WAS a beautiful Pub.
Then the old man says:
"Look out in the yard out front...do you see that wall? I built that wall. I quarried the stones, I chiseled them to shape, I carefully placed each one. I built that wall, and it's a beautiful wall...but do they call me Blarney the Wall Builder? No...they don't."
The tourist was admiring the craftsmanship of the wall when Blarney interrupted his thought and said:
"Young man, look out the window to the lake. Do you see that pier? I built that pier. I chopped down every tree, I milled every plank, and I drove every nail. I built that pier, and it's a beautiful pier. But do they call me Blarney the Pier Builder? No...they don't...
...but you fuck ONE goat..."
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Employee Stock Options on Ethereum
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567487
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Learning to Predict Depth on the Pixel 3 Phones
Article URL: https://ai.googleblog.com/2018/11/learning-to-predict-depth-on-pixel-3.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567478
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Multitask machine learning tutorial: theory and code examples
Article URL: https://medium.com/@alexrachnog/multitask-learning-teach-your-ai-more-to-make-it-better-dde116c2cd40
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567458
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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BP and Shell Back VAKT Blockchain Platform in Sign of Confidence
Article URL: https://www.artificiallawyer.com/2018/11/30/bp-shell-back-vakt-blockchain-platform-in-sign-of-confidence/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567449
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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How a cable bill of $90.34 will cost me $212,602
Article URL: https://medium.com/@wmk100/how-a-cable-bill-of-90-34-will-cost-me-212-602-c95650234b9a
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567448
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Maybe Not (Rich Hickey at Clojure Conj)
Article URL: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YR5WdGrpoug
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567444
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Zalando Research Releases NLP “Flair”
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567438
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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A proposal for a new RPKI validator: OpenBSD rpki-client(1)
Article URL: https://medium.com/@jobsnijders/a-proposal-for-a-new-rpki-validator-openbsd-rpki-client-1-15b74e7a3f65
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567434
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Ex-Autonomy CEO Indicted for Fraud Tied to HP Deal
Article URL: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-11-29/ex-autonomy-ceo-lynch-indicted-for-fraud-tied-to-2011-hp-deal
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567419
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Comparison Jeopardy: A game to train your naming skills
Article URL: https://medium.com/@simonharrer/comparison-jeopardy-dec161ea3750
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567415
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Ask HN: Method of tracking login time for a web app?
Are there any good solutions for tracking the time people are logged into and using a web app?
Got a scenario where we want to share the cost of a floating licence fairly between multiple teams. And rather than us logging into a spreadsheet manually, I was wondering if there's a tool that could do that easily.
Would an SSO tool be able to do that?
I know there's browser extensions but it feels like a hassle to set up.
Perhaps a web proxy? Would it be possible to set something good up with nginx, Apache or HA Proxy, that would sit in front of the web app?
Perhaps a firewall could do the job? Somehow counting sessions per IP? But then it gets tricky to work backwards to user, and would have to MITM the traffic?
Or maybe there's some nice opensource tool that does this in a really nice and easy way?
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567411
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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The godfather of fake news
Article URL: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/the_godfather_of_fake_news
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567377
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Microsoft open-sources ONNX.js
Article URL: https://github.com/Microsoft/onnxjs
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567364
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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How a society becomes polarized, even though everyone is acting in good faith
Article URL: https://www.acsh.org/news/2018/11/28/polarization-society-even-scientists-become-tribal-13628
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567363
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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A cure for HIV is in sight as science chases holy grail
Article URL: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/nov/30/cure-for-hiv-world-aids-day
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567344
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Prototype device listens to lungs to check the heart
Article URL: https://newatlas.com/congestive-heart-failure-acoustic-sensor/57449/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567343
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Apple removes over 700 apps from Chinese App Store
Article URL: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2018/11/29/apple-removes-700-apps-chinese-app-store/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567337
Points: 3
# Comments: 0
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China races ahead of West in pursuit of 5G
Article URL: https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Business-Trends/China-races-ahead-of-West-in-pursuit-of-5G
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567335
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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He can’t smoke weed and drink whiskey at least not on a podcast
Article URL: https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/11/elon-musk-nasa-spacex-commercial-crew-safety-review/576997/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567334
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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GPs to prescribe very low calorie diets in hope of reversing diabetes
Article URL: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/30/gps-to-prescribe-very-low-calorie-diets-in-hope-of-reversing-diabetes
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18567323
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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