Thursday, June 30, 2022
What do you cll a Mexican anime about pirates?
Juan piece
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Zero-downtime schema migrations for Ruby on Rails
Article URL: https://fabianlindfors.se/blog/zero-downtime-schema-migrations-for-rails/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31936723
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months
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What do you call it when God decides a woman will miscarry?
Divine Plan B
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Wednesday, June 29, 2022
Domains Project Crawler causing SYN floods
Article URL: https://github.com/tb0hdan/domains/issues/15
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31924882
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Jennifer Lopez getting humbled
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submitted by /u/phoexnixfunjpr to r/funny [link] [comments] |
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Data centers are a secret water scourge
Article URL: https://www.protocol.com/newsletters/climate/data-centers-west-drought
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31924107
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Another soviet joke.
A lawyer (L) walks in the court and meets a judge(his friend) (J) exiting a courtroom and laughing his ass off.
L - Hey, why you laugh so hard?
J - Oh, i'v just heard a very good joke.
L - care to share it?
J - No, can't. Just sentenced a guy for life for telling that joke.
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Tuesday, June 28, 2022
Next month is No-Buy July, and a great time to start
Article URL: https://teddit.net/r/simpleliving/comments/vl4c7r/looking_to_live_better_with_less_try_a_nobuy_next/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31911487
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Don’t Cheat on the Ethics Exam
Article URL: https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2022-06-28/don-t-cheat-on-the-ethics-exam
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31911475
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Bringing the power of deep learning to data in tables
Article URL: https://www.amazon.science/blog/bringing-the-power-of-deep-learning-to-data-in-tables
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31911455
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Waymo’s self-driving trucks will deliver home goods for Wayfair
Article URL: https://www.theverge.com/2022/6/28/23186715/waymo-self-driving-trucks-deliver-wayfair-home-goods
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31911444
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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AI generated artwork inspired by current events
Article URL: https://prompt.press
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31911443
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Howard Stern Considers Running for President to Overturn Supreme Court: ‘I’m Not F—ing Around’
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submitted by /u/MarvelsGrantMan136 to r/entertainment [link] [comments] |
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Two recent college graduates walk into the mens room at the same time.
They proceed to the urinals to relieve their bladders. When they finish one walks to the sink and washes his hands. The other about to exit without washing his hands. Sink guy- at Harvard they taught us to wash our hands after using the restroom. Other guy- at my college they taught us not to piss on our hands.
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Monday, June 27, 2022
Castlevania: Rondo of Blood
Article URL: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castlevania:_Rondo_of_Blood
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31898852
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Where exactly are they going to live?
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submitted by /u/BelleAriel to r/clevercomebacks [link] [comments] |
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damn, this hit home.
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submitted by /u/_aniceboulder to r/WitchesVsPatriarchy [link] [comments] |
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Carl, Incubator of Germs
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submitted by /u/bitchyswiftie to r/Bossfight [link] [comments] |
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In honor of Pride Month, here's my "Gay man on a bus" joke [Long]
A gay man, let’s call him Jeff, is on a bus and sees a very handsome man a few seats away. When the handsome man gets off the bus, Jeff follows him. The man walks into a medical building and into an office. Jeff is delighted to find out that this man is a doctor, and is thrilled to find out that he is a proctologist. Jeff immediately makes an appointment. It turns out that, due to a last-minute cancellation, Jeff can be seen right then.
As the doctor begins looking at his anus, Jeff starts giggling. The doctor says, “hey, I’m not into that, so I’m going to ask you to leave.” Disappointed, Jeff slinks out the door.
A few days later, Jeff shows up again at the office, complaining of pain in his rectum. The doctor says, “is this some sort of trick, because I told you I’m not into that.”
“I assure you,” says Jeff, “that this is some pretty serious pain.” The doctor says okay and begins examining Jeff’s rectum.
“Oh my goodness, I can see the stem ends of what looks like 12 roses up your butt,” says the doctor.
“Read the card! Read the card!”
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Sunday, June 26, 2022
Arm most likely to list on the Nasdaq, says SoftBank CEO
Article URL: https://www.theregister.com/2022/06/24/arm_nasdaq/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31887164
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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The ultra rich in Buenos Aires took away the natural habitat of Capybaras, but now they're coming back!
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submitted by /u/Dangerous-Reveal8178 to r/nextfuckinglevel [link] [comments] |
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Fight not flight
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submitted by /u/finelinexcherry to r/Unexpected [link] [comments] |
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I'm done making Peter Pan jokes
They Never land
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Why you don’t see white dog poo anymore (2019)
Article URL: https://www.drool.pet/blogs/the-why/mystery-solved-why-you-don-t-see-white-dog-poo-anymore
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31886683
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Saturday, June 25, 2022
My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3 years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.
I lost Interest in that relationship.
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How to self host your own domain name
Article URL: https://blog.technitium.com/2022/06/how-to-self-host-your-own-domain-name.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31877562
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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2 killed and 21 injured in mass shooting in Norway.
submitted by /u/Paulbryn to r/ThatsInsane
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Read More...
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A policeman stands near the road...
Waiting for some cars to pass by. Finally a family sedan appears in his sight and as the car approaches the officer gives a signal to the driver to pull up. A young man and a young woman are sitting on the front seats while an elderly pair had taken the seats behind them. The sedan stops and the policeman staggers to the driver's window.
"'Mornin, officer" says the man behind the wheel
"Good morning, sir" coughing ". Well, it's a shame but it appears that the patrol car is out of fuel and I need to go to the town. Would you mind to give me a lift?"
"No problem" answers the driver.
So the policeman takes his seat between the elderly man and his wife and they all embark on. When the car reaches the town the officer says joyfully:
"Mister, you're a heck of a good driver. It was a pleasure to travel with you behind the wheel."
Driver: "Thanks, officer. Do you think I'm good enough to earn a driving license?"
Officer: "Wait a minute, you don't have a license!"
The young woman:"Oh, don't listen to him, officer, he's talking nuts when he's drunk"
Officer: "The fuck he is!"
The older woman: "I warned you we shouldn't go nowhere with a stolen car."
Officer: "...?"
The Grandpa, awakening: "So what, did we finally cross the border? That fella in the boot is already stinky."
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A truck carrying vicks vaporub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours strait.
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Friday, June 24, 2022
US Capitol police arrive in full riot gear to protect the US Supreme Court
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submitted by /u/calbert1735 to r/PublicFreakout [link] [comments] |
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After telling Susan Collins that Roe was ‘settled law,’ Brett Kavanaugh calls it ‘wrongly decided’
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submitted by /u/IsThereSomethingNew to r/politics [link] [comments] |
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How do trees access the internet?
they log on.
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The all CSS shorthand property
Article URL: https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/CSS/all
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31867318
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Calls for mass walkout of women across America if Roe v. Wade is overturned
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submitted by /u/LudovicoSpecs to r/antiwork [link] [comments] |
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Thursday, June 23, 2022
OpenAI has trained a neural network to competently play Minecraft
Article URL: https://twitter.com/OpenAI/status/1540032456559955968
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31854354
Points: 2
# Comments: 1
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Bees pay rent
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submitted by /u/Peter_Rodruigues to r/tumblr [link] [comments] |
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Artificial Photosynthesis Without Sunlight
Article URL: https://phys.org/news/2022-06-artificial-photosynthesis-food-sunshine.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31853521
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Oldie, but goodie - The Lone Ranger's Last Request
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims
"So, you are the great Lone Ranger"...
"In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear,
And the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
And spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.
Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns,
This time with a voluptuous brunette,
More attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request?"
The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
"Listen Very Carefully!!!
FOR...THE...LAST...GODDAM TIME...
BRING A POSSE!!!!
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Three guys making a movie
Christopher Nolan: I'll produce
Leonardo Dicaprio: I'll act
Matthew McConaughey: I'll write I'll write I'll write
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Wednesday, June 22, 2022
What do you call a potato with a penis?
A dictator
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Three logicians walk into a bar
The bartender asks "does everybody want a drink?" Logician 1: "I don't know." Logician 2: "I don't know." Logician 3: "Yes."
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Quarkus 2.10.0.Final Now Available
Article URL: https://quarkus.io/blog/quarkus-2-10-0-final-released/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31840127
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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At this point we have to assume the Uvalde police department was in it with the shooter (half sarcasm?)
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submitted by /u/overpregnant to r/WhitePeopleTwitter [link] [comments] |
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Johnny lives in a society...
Johnny asks his dad how a country runs. His dad thinks and replies, ‘Well, it’s like this. I earn the money in the house, so I’m the rich. Your mom takes care of running the home, so she is the government. The maid is the working class, and your baby brother is the future. And finally you Johnny, are the average citizen.’
That night Johnny is woken up by his baby brother’s cries. He goes to the crib and notices that his brother has soiled his diapers. He runs to his mom and finds her fast asleep. He then goes to the maid’s room and finds her in bed with his father. He returns to his bed.
The next day Johnny tells his dad that he has the working of a country all figured out. His dad asks him to explain.
“A country is where an average citizen can’t get proper sleep, as the rich are fucking the working class, the government is fast asleep and the future is all shitty,” Johnny explains.
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Lads if you are bored!
Phone up women's rights groups...
And ask to speak to the man in charge.
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Tuesday, June 21, 2022
Do you read what you write before you post it?
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submitted by /u/PhenomenalPancake to r/SelfAwarewolves [link] [comments] |
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why cant pirates sing the alphabet?
They keep getting lost at "C"....
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US settles with Facebook over allegations of discriminatory advertising
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31827495
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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What Colombia's swing left means for the U.S.
Article URL: https://www.axios.com/2022/06/21/colombia-leftist-petro-biden-relations
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31827482
Points: 2
# Comments: 1
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Islamic Extremists, claiming Yoga to be Haram, disrupt Yoga event organized in the Maldives on the occasion of World Yoga Day.
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submitted by /u/Rogue-RedPanda to r/AbruptChaos [link] [comments] |
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I never wanted to believe the rumors about my company’s tech department being abusive until I had to have them come fix an issue with my office computer.
And then IT hit me.
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Monday, June 20, 2022
The origin: why Porsche announced an SUV in 1998
Article URL: https://newsroom.porsche.com/en/2022/products/porsche-cayenne-anniversary-20-years-success-story-origin-28744.html
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31814801
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Never let them know your next move🗿
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submitted by /u/IntellectualCD to r/Unexpected [link] [comments] |
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I don't think I'm going to keep playing wordle.
I ran out of guesses yesterday, and it called me a loser.
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Falken’s Maze: Game Theory, Computer Science, and the Cold War (2016)
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31813948
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Napoleon at the annual military parade in Moscow
Napoleon is at the annual military parade in Moscow, alongside Putin, engrossed in reading a newspaper.
At his side, Marshal Ney blurts out to him "Your Majesty, look! If only we had such guns, we would not lose Waterloo!"
Napoleon keeps reading. Ney blurts out again, "Your Majesty, look! If only we had such tanks, we would not lose Waterloo!"
Napoleon only keeps reading. Ney blurts out the third time, "Your Majesty, look! If only we had such rockets, we would not lose Waterloo!"
Napoleon finally looks up from his copy of Pravda, and wistfully says to Ney, "If only we had such newspapers, nobody would ever know that we lost Waterloo"
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Sunday, June 19, 2022
State of emergency The four ways your state might be wrong
Article URL: https://note89.github.io/state-of-emergency/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31802085
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Consciousness Is Not Computation
Article URL: https://joe-antognini.github.io/ml/consciousness
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31802060
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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KeyCodes JavaScript
Article URL: https://keyjs.dev
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31802056
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Japan’s Blurred Vision for the Future of Capitalism
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31802049
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Learn Git Branching
Article URL: https://learngitbranching.js.org/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31802048
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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I have no idea what point they are trying to make
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submitted by /u/ForeverNearby2382 to r/facepalm [link] [comments] |
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Someone threw a bottle of Omega-3 capsules at me!
Luckily my injuries are only Super Fish Oil.
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Saturday, June 18, 2022
What do hoes and Walmarts have in common?
You may laugh at them sometimes, but when you’re inside one at 4am you’re thinking “Damn I’m glad these are here”
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RustConf 2021: Libs Team
Article URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnYQKWs_7EA
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31792378
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Best friend
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submitted by /u/vermoxc to r/gifsthatkeepongiving [link] [comments] |
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