I (40f) have never wanted children and have a bisalp (fallopian tube removal) next week. I am married to Bob (36m). I have had horrible experiences on birth control from nausea, suicidal thoughts, getting my paragard ripped out which resulted in a lot of pain and scarring.
I tried getting paragard put in again, but my cervix was so damaged that it didn't sit right and I got pregnant. I needed an abortion, since there is NO WAY I would ever go through pregnancy (I was told I could die or suffer serious complications if I did want it, since the IUD was in), so I flew to another state that didn't have an abortion ban.
Roe v. Wade being overturned is a scary ass situation, and I'm worried about what Republicans might do in the future, so I want a permanent solution.
I asked Bob to get a vasectomy, and he refused. His reasons are: 1. He doesn't believe in altering the human body for religious reasons. 2. He doesn't want kids, but if I died he would remarry and have kids if SHE wanted them. 3. His body, his choice.
Since I just turned 40, I was able to find a doc that would do a salpingectomy, but I am scared. I don't like I.V.'s, or surgery, or scars, or pain. I don't want to be lying around unable to lift anything for 2 weeks.
I am getting angrier by the day, and have been arguing with my husband every day. I also don't feel like sex.
Am I overreacting for turning down sex and starting daily arguments? Should I just buckle up and shut my mouth?
I absolutely would not divorce him over this. He doesn't want kids, so im not sure why people keep saying he does.It's a simpleish surgery, and then I'm sure we will go back to normal. I would never force him to get a vasectomy, I am just scared and taking it out on him, which makes me the AH. I was just asking if im currently overreacting.
Edit: people keep saying to get my tubes tied. I am getting a bisalp next week.
Edit: Thank you for those of you calming my fears about my upcoming surgery. I am overreacting! I will calm my tits.
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