This is a long story. My friend, Maddie (44f) and I (44f) have been friends since college. However, she had other plans as she always wanted to be a housewife. So, she dropped out of college and got married. I, on the other hand, have worked my way up. I wanted to build my own career before starting a family. That is why I didn't date much in my 20s. I put all my focus on my business and making it work. Because of that I lost touch with a lot of my friends, including Maddie. She has 5 kids, so she is also busy with her own thing. Over the years, Maddie has pressed a lot that I should get married, I will not find a good husband if I wait till 30s. She knows my trauma with relationships in the past. I wanted to heal properly before I started dating. Also this is one of the reasons why I lost touch with her.
I finally met my husband a little later. We decided to try for kids and it was a miracle that I got pregnant so easily at the age of 39 (My mother's side has a history of infertility). Maddie was happy for me. We decided to try for another kid and then another miracle and we ended up having twins. My twins are now 14 months old so we decided to put them in daycare. When my friend got to know about this she told me it is wrong for a child to stay away from their parents for a long time. She suggested that I should quit my work and be a full time mom now. And since we are financially well off we can afford it. Yes we are financially well off. And I have already taken a step back from my career till my kids go to preschool. But I do not want to quit my job.
She accused me of being a "fake mother". Because 1) I used epidural during both my delivery. 2) I hired nannies. 3) I put my kids in daycare. She thinks if you are not struggling as a mother, you are not a real mother. She said some pseudo science stuff that kids who go to daycare end up becoming a spoiled brat and disrespectful because they do not feel a mother's warmth. This was last straw. I told her to mind her own business and that her kids are no better since they always get in trouble. I know what is best for my children. There were a lot of arguing but the end result was that I blocked her and told her to not talk to me. I feel bad because we have been really close friends. We have known each other for more than 20 years. I do feel like an A-hole.
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