A newly wed couple moves in with each other for the first time and are going through the normal aches and pains of learning to live with someone new.
For the most part, everything is going well. No big disagreements, a couple of small annoying habits, but nothing major. Though, after several weeks the wife had started to worry about her partner's health. Every night he farted nearly the entire time he slept. Loud, voluminous, putrid clouds that came at nearly clock-like intervals. At first she thought it was just from the stress and heavy food of their wedding or a case of food poisoning from their honeymoon, but it just kept up.
She had approached her husband about the growing issue and he said that "Maybe it was because he was starting to relax around her." And that he had never noticed it before, so to just leave it be.
But she was losing sleep over this, and it wasn't letting up. After several more weeks and discussions with her husband, she warned him, "There is something medically wrong. Like you were going to fart your guts out." He laughed and said she must be exaggerating, surely if it was that bad it would have woken him up. And he would dismiss the conversation.
His wife was done. She loved her husband, but this issue needed to be resolved. So she made a plan.
The next day she went to the butcher and purchased a bucket of chicken guts. And that night while her husband slept, sheets flapping as he trumpeted away, she carefully poured the bucket between his legs and went to sleep.
The next morning she woke up early to make her husband breakfast as an apology for her crude prank. And a while later and she hears her husband slowly coming down the stairs. He is pale as a sheet, shaking, and won't make eye contact. Trying not to smile, she asks what is wrong.
He shamefully looks up at her and he replies, "Babe. You where right. I need help. I....I farted my fucking guts out..." lifting his middle and index fingers up "...but with the grace of God, and these two fingers, I got them all back in again."
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