There once was a young, newlywed couple who just arrived in their honeymoon suite after a wonderful day spent celebrating their union with family and friends. The newlyweds, having both grown up in very sheltered homes, had no experience in the matters of sex and had pledged to one another to wait until their wedding night to engage in any sort of physical activity, not even nudity.
Both of them were extremely nervous about disrobing in front of the other for the first time. In an attempt to help set his lovely new bride at ease, the groom offered to go first. He reached for the light switch, flicked off the overhead light, and then lit a candle to help set the mood and hide his own discomfort.
“I need to tell you,” he said, “I’ve never been naked in front of anyone before, ever. We’ve been together for 5 years now and even you’ve never seen me naked. There are some things you don’t know about me…about my body. I’ve been too afraid to tell you.”
His wife looked at him, with love and understanding in her eyes. “Honey, I love you, all of you, no matter what.”
His mind somewhat at ease, he bent down to remove his shoes and socks. As he did, his feet were revealed to have toes that looked like they had been mangled in a lawn mower accident. Each toe was horribly misshapen and covered in scar tissue and blackened, flaky toenails. He looked up at his wife and said…
“Sweetheart, when I was little, I had ‘toe-lio’. It’s like polio, but it only affects the toes and as you can see, it gets bad for some people. I’ll never get better, but I’ll also never get worse and you can’t catch it.”
His wife gazed into his eyes with no less passion than she had before.
“Baby, I love you for way more than your toes. You’re my man and that’s all there is to it.”
Her husband smiled, reassured. He kissed her forehead gently, then reached to undo his belt and pants, and let them drop to the floor. As they fell, his knees were shown to be covered in open, festering sores, scabs and callouses. He looked at his wife, and gently held her by the shoulders. He lifted her chin sweetly to look into her eyes.
"Sweetheart, when I was a teenager, I fell in the shower in PE class and because of the dirty floor, I contracted the ‘knee-sles.” It’s just like the measles, but much worse when concentrated in the knees like it is with me and others who have the 'knee-sles'. It’s flaring up right now because of all the stress of the wedding, but once everything dies down and we can get to a pharmacy, everything will be fine. Again, you can’t catch this.”
His wife looked at him again, with love in her eyes as before.
“Babe, you’re my man and I swore, just a few hours ago, to stand by you in sickness and in health, and I will. We’ll call the pharmacy in the morning. I love YOU.”
Her husband smiled broader than ever, fully convinced that his new, amazing wife was indeed the incredible angel he had come to believe she was. Full of love, passion, and confidence, the groom grasped the waistband of his underwear and let them fall with a floof onto the floor.
At seeing this, his new bride looked at his genital area, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping to the proverbial floor. After a few seconds, she burst into uncontrollable laughter and said, between heaves and guffaws,
“Oh, so now I suppose you’re going to tell me you had ‘smallcox’ too!”
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! https://ift.tt/8oq5OXS
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