A thread of all the best jokes Siri has ever told me.

One day I was looking for creative task avoidance tactics, so I asked Siri to tell me a joke. Here are some of the best she had:

1. Whiteboards are quite remarkable.

2. Pavlov’s hair wasn’t always so silky. He had to condition it.

3. Did you hear about the band called 1023MB? They’re good, but they haven’t got a gig yet.

4. What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

5. My thesaurus isn’t just terrible…it’s also terrible.

6. I admit I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is. I stand corrected.

7. Why do people tell actors to break a leg? Because every play needs a cast.

8. R.I.P boiling water. You will be mist.

9. To the person who stole my limbo bar. How low can you go?

10. Don’t even get me started on Velcro. What a rip-off…

11. A skeleton walks into a cafe and says “give me a coffee…and a mop”

12. A bad limbo player walks into a bar (I really liked this one).

13. How do you create light with water? Clean the windows.

[okay I think 13 is a good number to stop but I’ll go one-for-one with anyone who drops a good joke in the comments]

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