(UPDATE) My husband's [M32] "sabbatical" has become pathetic and I [F30] want it to end right now.

First, thanks to all who responded to my prior post. A lot of good advice that has helped me navigate this situation.

On the day I made my last post, my husband and I had a talk that night when I got home from work. I basically said he needed to make a doctors appointment for his mental health, or cut out the marijuana use, or both. He repeatedly refused and actually got a bit hostile about it, which is not like him at all.

Then I moved onto finances. I asked him how much of his savings he had left, and all he said was "enough". I pressed him for a dollar figure and he wouldn't answer. I asked if he had a balance on his credit card and he said no. When I asked to see his bank statement to confirm, he basically told me to fuck off -- again, hostile and out of character for him.

I told him that the current arrangement wasn't working, and that he'd have to start paying 50% of the bills on March 1st. At this point in the conversation, he completely shut down. He wouldn't even look at me, he just sat looking away from me with tears in his eyes as I talked. I doubt he even heard a word I said, but I clearly stated all the other issues I had -- the Instagram stuff, our plans for the future, etc.

After this conversation, he stopped sleeping in our bed. For almost a week now he's slept in the basement. He basically doesn't leave the basement when I'm home unless it's to get food. Honestly, it's pathetic.

I am going out with some colleagues this weekend for a fun night, and my husband can stay home like a hermit. I also have a coffee date planned for Sunday with my best friend -- I am going to tell her everything and get her opinion. Because honestly, this isn't the life I want to live and trying to correct it only made things worse. I am beginning to think of divorce as a real option, which would have seemed outrageous even 3 weeks ago.

Thanks again for reading and giving your input.

submitted by /u/feelguud to r/relationship_advice
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