We’ve been together almost three years. We live together. I support us 100%. In the time we’ve been together, he’s worked maybe two months.
He’s depressed and anxious and he steals all the oxygen and joy out of every room. He never wants to go anywhere but then complains that we never go anywhere. I got him an interview at my work - a moderately well paid entry level position. He refused to go, saying he wasn’t ready. Then spends time complaining about not having a job. You get the idea.
Everything in our lives revolves around him and his moods. He cries, yells or just sighs incessantly. There’s no laughter or happiness in our home. I walk on eggshells all the time. I dread coming home from work. He grabbed me a few days ago and shook me so hard I’m bruised on my upper arms.
The apartment is in my name, but he literally has no where to go because he has no friends and he refuses to contact his family. So he’d be homeless and I can’t do that to him (or any human really). I fantasize about being alone all the time. Like only cooking or shopping or doing anything just for myself. It would be incredible. To be able to breathe again.
His birthday was last week and I saved up for a month to get him something related to his hobby. When I gave it to him, he said “i just told you I didn’t want to do this anymore. What were you thinking?” I think at that point any love I still felt for him just died.
He doesn’t cook, clean, care for his dog or do anything but play video games. I’m trapped in a prison and I just don’t really care what happens to me anymore.
I don’t want to die, but I wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, if that makes sense. I know what i should do but I’m just a dumb bitch.
Thanks for reading. Typing it out helps.
Edit: welp this reached the front page and now I’m super uncomfortable with everything so I’m not going to be posting anymore. I appreciate all the advice - the tough love too. Hopefully I’ll be back with a happy update in the future. Thanks for everything, Reddit.
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