Monday, November 12, 2018

(UPDATE) Similarities between my(M47) wife(F46) and our daughter(F18) are affecting my attraction towards her, don't know how to talk to my wife.

By November 12, 2018 , No comments

OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9v5cc4/similarities_between_mym47_wifef46_and_our/

To everyone who was calling me a creep or a pervert, I'm not attracted to my daughter, that's some new level of gross. As a result I'm not attracted to my wife who's pretty much an older version of her, and time has treated her well which doesn't help their similarities. They are the same height and the same build, wouldn't surprise me if they were exactly the same weight. Also my daughter doesn't care what she wears, if she see's it and it's clean, she'll wear it regardless of whether it's hers or her mothers. The only way I can tell them apart from a distance is because my daughter will more than likely be playing on her phone, they need to be within 20ft for me to be able to reliably pick them out unless my daughter is wearing something pink of hers, because I know my wife would never wear pink. So it's been excruciatingly hard to sexualise my wife, instant flop.

The day after I posted the OP I confided in a friend at work about it and mentioned my intention to see a therapist while we were on a smoke break and he gave me the number to a private family therapist who helped him and his wife through some stuff. I called her and she got me in the same day after I finish work. She was very comforting in that she was able to tell me this was far from the first time people have come to her with that problem, but it's a very sensitive one and one that can't be fixed unless my wife is consciously aware of it. According to her the best way to explain it to her was to say that even though I find her sexy, she looks too similar to our daughter and it puts me off when trying to think sexually.

When I was getting ready to tell her I was near enough in tears, I thought I was about to crush this poor woman's entire world by telling her that she's the problem and the reason we haven't been having sex. Nope, she started laughing, hysterically laughing. She called me "such a dick" while she was laughing at me. When she stopped laughing she said sorry it was just the shock and also some relief because she thought the problem was much bigger and was prepared for a bomb to be dropped on her. And then she asked if this meant that she gets money for a new look, which I agreed to giving her. She was so cool about it I have the best wife ever. She wants to try out a biker look, she's going to dye her hair dark brown(currently ginger), get a completely new wardrobe(which I'm going to make an effort to keep away from my daughter) and when we have time to go together she's going to get a sleeve tattoo on each arm, and I get free reign over what she gets on her right arm so long as it's safe for work, which is awesome. When she took my card this morning I told her that I felt terrible for saying it, she quickly cut across me and told me that it's a blessing in disguise for her because she's been thinking about donning a biker look for a while but she assumed I wouldn't like it so she just left it. She was really excited to get her hair done when she left home earlier.

Thanks everyone, even the people who thought I wanted to fuck my daughter, to clarify, that's disgusting, I don't want to do that. Special shoutout to /u/RA_ManInHisPrime it was you calling me a dumb fuck that flicked the switch that made me decide to talk to someone else about it in real life, which in turn got me that therapists phone number, so thanks dude. I'm so relieved this didn't blow up in my face, I'm far from religious but thank god for that!

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 (UPDATE) Similarities between my(M47) wife(F46) and our daughter(F18) are affecting my attraction towards her, don't know how to talk to my wife.

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