Article URL: https://www.vice.com/en/article/n7zm9q/elon-musk-twitter-nazis-white-supremacy
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33805700
Points: 6
# Comments: 2
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Wednesday, November 30, 2022
A dog running and feeling the speed
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submitted by /u/DnlNicks to r/nextfuckinglevel [link] [comments] |
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Elon Musk has come up with a fool proof plan of destroying Apple because they refuse to advertise on Twitter.
He plans to buy it.
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Hole-y Golf
Jesus, Moses and an old man are playing golf one day.
The hole is a par 3 with a huge lake in front of the tee.
Jesus steps up, takes his swing, BOOM, the ball flies up and lands on the edge of the opposite side of the lake.
Jesus walks across the water, hits his ball to land on the green.
Moses steps up, takes his swing, BOOM, the ball flies up and lands in the middle of the lake.
Moses parts the water, walks down to his ball and smacks it out onto the green.
The old man steps up, takes his swing, BOOM, straight up into the air and headed for the middle of the lake......
BUT, before the ball hits the water, a giant bass jumps up, and swallows the ball. Before the bass hits the water, an eagle swoops out of the sky, snatches the bass and starts to fly away! A sudden clap of thunder startles the eagle, the bird drops the bass onto the green, the ball pops out of the bass' mouth, straight into the cup! Hole In ONE!
Jesus turns around to the old man and says: "Nice shot, Dad. Now will you quit fuckin' around and play golf??"
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Metrics for Your Web Application's Dashboards
Article URL: https://sirupsen.com/metrics
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33804818
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Tuesday, November 29, 2022
Bambi
As soon as Harry and his wife entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt walked up to Harry and became very friendly.
Harry brushed her off.
Harriet quickly objected,
- "Harry, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."
- "Harriet, she's a prostitute."
"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."
In their room, Harry called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217.
- "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"
Soon, there was a knock on the door.
Harry opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.
George asked,
- "How much do you charge?" "$250 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."
Even Harry was taken aback.
- "$250! I was thinking more in the range of $25."
Bambi laughed derisively.
- "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."
- "Well," said Harry, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye."
After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom.
She said,
- "I just can't believe it!" Harry said,
- "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."
At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind Harry pointed slyly at Harriet, and said,
- "See, I told you! look what you get for $25 !!!"
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Stephen Curry of sanitation
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submitted by /u/Wololo--Wololo to r/nextfuckinglevel [link] [comments] |
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Two teenagers are talking about their girlfriends
Rick: My babe is 18 already and has huge tits, what about yours?
Josh: She is 42 and amazing in bed, like you wouldn't believe.
Rick: 42?! She could be your mother, man!
Josh: Could be. But she's yours.
[link] [comments]
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Sliding without looking ahead.
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submitted by /u/esberat to r/instant_regret [link] [comments] |
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WNBA Star Kelsey Plum: “We’re not asking to get paid what the men get paid,”...“We’re asking to get paid the same percentage of revenue shared.”
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submitted by /u/Responsible-Lunch815 to r/sports [link] [comments] |
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Monday, November 28, 2022
I'm going fucking
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submitted by /u/kevinowdziej to r/BrandNewSentence [link] [comments] |
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Twitter grapples with Chinese spam obscuring news of protests | For hours, links to adult content overwhelmed other posts from cities where dramatic rallies escalated
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submitted by /u/MortWellian to r/technology [link] [comments] |
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Conservative Jewish group slams Trump for dining with a Holocaust denier weeks after they awarded him a medal at their gala
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submitted by /u/Fit-Nobody-8138 to r/LeopardsAteMyFace [link] [comments] |
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Fans Of Teams Not In Playoff Contention, Who Do You Want To Win It All And Why?
For the second straight year, Clemson isn’t in that top tier. I love college football. So I’ll continue to watch games as a neutral fan. But let’s be honest we all have opinions on every team out there so I’ll go first.
TCU winning is my preferred choice.
I don’t want UGA back to back because regional opponent and I live near tons of their fans.
I don’t want the LA team of mercenaries to win. I don’t like Lincoln Riley and I’m still salty about them poaching Jordan Addison (although the kid made the right choice)
And I don’t want anything to validate the Michigan flairs in here talking crap to me all season long lol
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Streamer fails miserably on cooking and panics when it bursts into flames
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submitted by /u/Baxwell_mui to r/AbruptChaos [link] [comments] |
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I told the doctor in the emergency room that I’d put in my own stitches.
He replied “alright, suture self”.
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Sunday, November 27, 2022
Santa Jingle…
He's making a list.
He's checking it twice.
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
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US-England World Cup game seen by 19.98M on US television
Article URL: https://apnews.com/article/world-cup-entertainment-soccer-sports-international-dc41ac7132e520cea85b7a4ae57e3a65
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33765398
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Sounds like a really thoughtful household
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submitted by /u/KingPZe to r/BlackPeopleTwitter [link] [comments] |
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maybe maybe maybe
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submitted by /u/MiSsiLeR81 to r/maybemaybemaybe [link] [comments] |
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What kind of work does Gomez Addams assign Thing to do around the Addams Manor?
Oh you know, just normal hand jobs.
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Saturday, November 26, 2022
I’m giving away free yodelling lessons
So please form an Orderly, Orderly, Orderly Queue
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I went online to order Oreos and the website errored
My VPN was rejecting cookies.
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AI Generated Guest Blog: around the world
Article URL: https://billwadge.com/2022/11/26/ai-generated-guest-blog-around-the-world/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33755258
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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He's not even
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submitted by /u/xanderpua to r/FunnyandSad [link] [comments] |
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Two Drunk Sailors:
So, these two drunk sailors arrive at this Naval port city by boat and they begin to go to each and every one of the bars. Once they get kicked out of one they go to another.
So for the rest of the night they get absolutely wasted, and when they get kicked out of the last bar they begin to stumble back to their boat. They then turn a corner only to run straight into a Commanding Naval Officer going for a late night stroll.
In a moment of drunken brilliance they ask the Naval Officer:
"Hey, Buddy, Do you know where we are?"
Completely offended and outraged the Commander yells at them:
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"
And so the sailors look at one another and one of them says:
"Uh oh, We don't know where we are, and He doesn't know where he is!"
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Friday, November 25, 2022
Two old people playing golf
"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
[link] [comments]
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Fighting off faux-serverless bandits with the true definition of serverless
Article URL: https://www.gomomento.com/blog/fighting-off-fake-serverless-bandits-with-the-true-definition-of-serverless
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33745419
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Üeberzug Is Not Maintained
Article URL: https://github.com/seebye/ueberzug
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33745412
Points: 1
# Comments: 1
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How long will it take an author to write "The Guide To All The World's Great Beers"?
It depends on how many drafts they have to go through.
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Thursday, November 24, 2022
Brain experiment suggests that consciousness relies on quantum entanglement
Article URL: https://bigthink.com/hard-science/brain-consciousness-quantum-entanglement/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33735188
Points: 4
# Comments: 2
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Straight to heaven
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submitted by /u/Penguin_On_XTC to r/funny [link] [comments] |
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Meta teaches an AI to lie, strategize
Article URL: https://www.computerworld.com/article/3681330/meta-teaches-an-ai-to-lie-strategize.html#tk.rss_all
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33734761
Points: 2
# Comments: 1
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They have been lying to you about social media
Article URL: https://amineaouragh.substack.com/p/social-media-is-not-your-enemy
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33734743
Points: 3
# Comments: 4
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Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
[link] [comments]
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Wednesday, November 23, 2022
Coins study suggests ‘fake emperor’ was real, say scientists
Article URL: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2022/nov/23/coins-study-suggests-fake-emperor-sponsian-was-real-say-scientists
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33723546
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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what da boi doin
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submitted by /u/purplechair12 to r/shitposting [link] [comments] |
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Spontaneous beat synchronization in rats: Neural dynamics and motor entrainment
Article URL: https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.abo7019
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33722934
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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One of the largest football recruits ever, 15 year old Tyler Parker, is already 6’1” and 300lbs and has gotten offers from Notre Dame and University of Miami.
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submitted by /u/Alphalarge to r/Damnthatsinteresting [link] [comments] |
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Your mum told me that fermented apple is a good topical remedy for nettle stings.
At least, I think that's what she said. She said that every time she gets a prick in her hand, she puts it in cider.
[link] [comments]
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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A hundred. One to screw it in, ninety-nine to do the paperwork.
[link] [comments]
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Tuesday, November 22, 2022
Impact and Transparency Report 2022 – PHP Foundation
Article URL: https://opencollective.com/phpfoundation/updates/impact-and-transparency-report-2022
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33710433
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Peace River wildlife cleans concrete off of a baby gopher tortoise
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submitted by /u/Portlander to r/HumansBeingBros [link] [comments] |
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Top problems with Artemis and what NASA can do to fix them
Article URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBxgHF-ccDQ
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33709434
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Jaylen Brown’s recent IG post re: Twitter backlash
Jaylen Brown posted this meme on his Instagram story amid the backlash and reactions to his recent Tweets and statements in support of Kyrie Irving.
https://i.imgur.com/pXbHb6g.jpg
What do you realistically think will come of this? I don’t see the Celtics organization doing anything unless he does something even more blatant.
Brown continues to disappoint Celtics fans with these antics and refusal to apologize and take ownership of his actions. I think that a lot of us (at least most of us on r/BostonCeltics) are pretty much fed up with it at this point.
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An american tourist is visiting Paris
He takes a taxi for a ride around the city, sees Notre Dame cathedral and asks the driver:
-What's that ?
-Notre Dame cathedral.
-How long did it take to build it ?
-I don't know, 50 years maybe ?
-Oh my god, that's so lame. American workers would have done that in 5 years.
The driver, a little annoyed, continues to drive around for some minutes, then the american tourist sees the Eiffel Tower and asks:
-What's that ?
-The Eiffel Tower.
-How long did it take to build it ?
-I don't know, 5 years I guess ?
-Really ??? Damn, such a lazy work, americans would have done that in six months.
The driver sighs, a little angry. Then the american sees the Louvre and says:
-What's that ?
-Oh ? This ? I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday.
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Monday, November 21, 2022
Disney executives staged revolt against ousted chief Bob Chapek
Article URL: https://www.ft.com/content/a9277a18-18f6-42ea-a1fb-7e762120846a
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33696916
Points: 1
# Comments: 1
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Old man performs his last glimpse
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submitted by /u/neoneat to r/blackmagicfuckery [link] [comments] |
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Tailscale, DNS Rebinding, and You
Article URL: https://emily.id.au/tailscale
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33696180
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Guess who just got laid off!
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submitted by /u/MR-POTATO-MAN-CODER to r/ProgrammerHumor [link] [comments] |
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An Elderly Couple Make an Appointment with a Divorce Attorney
The attorney is perplexed:
“You’re over 90 years old, and you’ve been married for close to 7 decades! Why, after all this time, do you want a divorce?”
The couple look at each other:
“We wanted to wait until the kids died.”
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Sunday, November 20, 2022
Trump Cites Twitter ‘Problems,’ Says He’ll Stick to Own Platform
Article URL: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-11-19/trump-cites-twitter-problems-says-he-ll-stick-to-own-platform
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33684462
Points: 4
# Comments: 0
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OPEN LETTER TO QATAR: you’re seriously banning homosexuality at your World Cup?
Come on guys…
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Entropy of a Student T Distribution
Article URL: https://www.johndcook.com/blog/2022/11/15/t-entropy/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33683713
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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Woman catches and releases a hawk that got trapped in her patio
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submitted by /u/_OhayoSayonara_ to r/HumansBeingBros [link] [comments] |
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I told my friend that a cannibal took my girlfriend to see a Russell Crowe film
My friend asked me: Gladiator?
I said : No, I really miss her
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Saturday, November 19, 2022
Spotted in the wild (Melbourne)
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submitted by /u/LeBruhMomento to r/australia [link] [comments] |
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Computing Arccos
Article URL: https://www.johndcook.com/blog/2022/11/09/computing-acrcos/
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33673005
Points: 1
# Comments: 0
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What would you call it when a bald man finally removes his ponytail?
A hipsterectomy.
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What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?
Nitrogen, sulfur, fluorine, and tungsten…because they are NSFW.
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Friday, November 18, 2022
Apple Lossless Audio Codec
Article URL: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Lossless_Audio_Codec
Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33660918
Points: 2
# Comments: 0
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Taylor’s response on the ticket crisis
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submitted by /u/HoorayAllDay to r/TaylorSwift [link] [comments] |
![[link]](https://i.redd.it/qx2rs02m8s0a1.jpg){kind=link}
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They chose to quit instead of doing double the work for *checks notes* the same amount of pay.
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submitted by /u/DosCabezasDingo to r/antiwork [link] [comments] |
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