Tuesday, November 30, 2021

What do a bungee jumper and hooker have in common?

They are fast, cheap and if the rubber snaps your fucked.

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A guy walks into a crow bar

It's a murder scene

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Why do french people look so depressed ?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is England

(stolen from twitter, no idea if it's an original)

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Is Web3 a Petri Dish?

Article URL: https://subconscious.substack.com/p/is-web3-a-petri-dish

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29396568

Points: 2

# Comments: 0



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Lol do it looser.

Lol do it looser. submitted by /u/Stranfort to r/DankMemesFromSite19
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We Choose Profit

Article URL: https://m.signalvnoise.com/why-we-choose-profit/#.2cfltah79

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29395883

Points: 1

# Comments: 0



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Ask HN: Book Recommendations 2021

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29395844

Points: 4

# Comments: 1



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A Group Of Kindergarteners Were Trying To Become Accustomed To The First Grade

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

"I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said: "No, you took a ride on a train. Use big people words". She then asked Bobby what he had done.

"I read a book," he replied.

"That's wonderful!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said: "Winnie the Sh*t".

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. Sometimes it takes one. Sometimes it takes a Zildjian.

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Monday, November 29, 2021

Baby goats in pajamas!

Baby goats in pajamas! submitted by /u/killHACKS to r/Eyebleach
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Blursed_dog_show

Blursed_dog_show submitted by /u/maestroenglish to r/blursedimages
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A teacher goes for a walk on the beach. She finds a magic lamb, picks it up, and then rubs it

There is a puff of smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If I fail, I must become your personal genie for eternity.”

The teacher thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want jewels. Silver, gold, platinum, whatever you have.” Poof! The jewels appear.

“For my second wish, I want karma. Lots of karma.” Poof! The karma appears.

The genie stares at the teacher, waiting for the third wish. “I can give you anything in the world,” he says again.

The teacher thinks for a long time. “As a teacher, I always hated careless mistakes from my students. I noticed that I accidentally wrote ‘lamb’ instead of ‘lamp.’ Please correct my mistake.”

The genie moaned in anguish. “This is Reddit,” he shouted. Once you post it, you can’t edit the title.

“In that case,” the teacher smiled, “It looks like I’ve got myself a genie for eternity.”

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A joke for my cake day

Someone stole my mood ring.

I don't know how I feel about that.

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Why are people from New York always depressed.

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is always Jersey.

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Ok Mods I want to know why my post was removed.

It's annoying because my fence keeps falling down.

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Everyday Robots

Article URL: https://everydayrobots.com

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29383558

Points: 1

# Comments: 0



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Sunday, November 28, 2021

Trump kept talking about restoring "law and order."

I don't know about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly.

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My girlfriend has an onlyfans account and it’s doing really well

I just have to figure out how to break the news to her

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A serial masturbator goes to the doctor.

Doctor tells him, "You've got to stop masturbating."

Man asks, "Why?"

Doctor says, "So that I can examine you."

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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

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Why are there more Chuck Norris jokes than Bruce Lee jokes?

Because Bruce Lee is not a joke

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Ask HN: How to file a bug for Facebook web UI?

Seems like Someone forgot to check the mobile web for the Meta rebranding...

See a screen shot - https://ift.tt/3dcRQR7

or simply go (incognito or logout first) to https://m.facebook.com/

I could not find a way to report it, and given the millions they have invested in the rebranding, I am assuming they will consider it as one with high priority.


Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29371543

Points: 1

# Comments: 0



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Energy Doesn't Flow Inside Wires [video]

Article URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--v5BXmFYv4

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29371533

Points: 1

# Comments: 0



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Smooooothhhh

Smooooothhhh submitted by /u/BigBeliya to r/HolUp
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Why is it a problem in America that you have to show your ID to vote?

I was just listening to a podcast from like a year ago, and someone mentioned Georgia wanting to pass a law that would make it mandatory for people to show their ID when voting, and everyone was appalled.

I know the voting process is kinda stupid over there and you have to register for some reason and whatnot, but in Europe, it is absolutely normal to go to your local voting place where you are automatically registered, and you come there and show your ID that proves that you are the person with the right to vote, and you get a paper and you go into a booth and fill it out and then you drop it into a box.

I don't even understand the issue.

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 Why is it a problem in America that you have to show your ID to vote?

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.

It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

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TIL: A Welshman Invented the Condom when he Discovered he Could Wrap his Penis in Sheep Intestines to Prevent Pregnancy

A hundred years later a Scotsman perfected the idea by taking them out of the sheep first.

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What's the difference between your wife and your work?

After 10 years, your job still sucks.

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A blind and elderly German man is on a train.

When the train approaches the station of his destination, he gets up from his seat, tries to make for the door, but almost walks into a pole.

Another passenger yells," Careful, there's a pole in front of you!"

The old man breathes in, stands tall with all the vitality of his youth, and swings with all his might at the pole.

"Untermensch!" He yells. "When did those twats become so hard?"

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Cloudflare “Flexible” SSL Misleading

Cloudflare Flexible SSL mode encrypts traffic between the client and Cloudflare but it forwards that data to the origin server unencrypted over the public internet.

Isn't this misleading? The client thinks their traffic is safe, but it ends up being exposed? Doesn't this defeat the purpose of SSL and browser certificate validation?


Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29362535

Points: 2

# Comments: 1



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Ask HN: Tools and techniques to quickly validate startup ideas

Do any of you have any recommendations for tools and techniques to quickly validate startup ideas? Especially the ones that you don't have connections for. I am interested in AI ideas that could potentially help other industries but I have no means to validate how painful the problem is. Some of the approaches that I am considering:

- Post a job posting to recruit some employees and gather information from them (and pay them for their time) - Create a landing page and advertise it to the right target audience - Reach out to people through LinkedIn

Any other tools, techniques, recommendations, etc., or even suggestions on how to make effective use of these strategies?

(throwaway because my main account is easily identifiable to work colleagues)


Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29362519

Points: 2

# Comments: 2



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1 man vs 9 women

1 man vs 9 women submitted by /u/Allah-vs-Ataturk to r/HolUp
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Garfeils

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If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ?

Hurry canes.

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Kid: Santa, what’s the story of your reindeer names?

Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!

Kid: What about Donner?

A dark countenance settles on Santa’s face

Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...

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How many anti-vaccers does it take to change a lightbulb?

DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!!

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Why does everyone in the MCU wear wrinkled shirts?

Because they lost their Iron, Man.

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How Anarchy Works (1995)

Article URL: https://www.wired.com/1995/10/ietf/

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29362291

Points: 1

# Comments: 0



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Speakeasy

Article URL: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speakeasy

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29362246

Points: 1

# Comments: 0



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My printer died last night under suspicious circumstances.

Epson didn't kill itself.

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Your mama is so ugly

The world faked a virus just to get a mask on her face.

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A man wants to deposit money at a Swiss bank.

"How much do you want to deposit?" asks the bank employee.

Whispers the man, "Three million."

"You can speak up," says the bank clerk. "In Switzerland, poverty is not a disgrace."

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When I was younger, I used to shave my privates with a cut throat razor.

I don’t have the balls to do it anymore

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The Caller

"Hello?" the child says on the phone. "Hi, honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy," says the litter girl. "She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now." Dad takes a deep breath. "Okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay, Daddy, just a minute," says the little girl. A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it, Daddy." "What happened, honey?" he asks. "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all." "Oh, my God! What about your Uncle Paul?" asks Dad in a panic. "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out all the water last week to clean the pool. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

There's a long pause on the phone. Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?"

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Knowledge is like underwear, you need to have it but you don't need to show it

but people always want to be the superman

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‘Disruption’

Article URL: https://thomasjbevan.substack.com/p/disruption

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29352810

Points: 2

# Comments: 0



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My first time censored (Great Firewall)

Article URL: https://mari.thoughts.page/#1637951543

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29352732

Points: 2

# Comments: 0



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I built that :)

I built that :) submitted by /u/SnooDogs5755 to r/pics
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[Homemade] Apple pie

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Thursday, November 25, 2021

Turkey Talk Line

Article URL: https://www.butterball.com/about-us/turkey-talk-line

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29344052

Points: 1

# Comments: 0



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Florida, USA

Florida, USA submitted by /u/_Xyreo_ to r/facepalm
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